popping my hiking cherry.

the pier 212 gig was amazing
maybe my voice is getting stronger ? feels good. regardless.
i played a song called ' all i ever wanted ' which incidentally i have never shared in a public space.
i imagine that is what a bird feels like when it leaves its nest after being there for a while.
or what a fish feels like when it ventures away from the school
a wolfs sentiment when it leaves the pack to become lone.

in a way a return to self via escapism

in honor of my LA hiking cherry being popped today ....
une poeme.

Apres - Lui.


apres lui
il n'y a pas rien.
i feel like watching my old flame
over over just to see her mistakes
just to feel his wake on my skin
to witness the dust fall gently
across my shades the ones
with the bent
arm
the ones that used to be brand
new .
there were boys and i dont regret whispering
my sweet nothings at them
there were girls and i'll never forget what any of them
were wearing
but i can't remember the day of the week
or the episode that i loved so much
the one where they eat cheesecake
and go over memories.
short term mine is.
long term love affair
with ways to say thank you.
i will never be fully satisfied
with just one.
i will never be fully satisfied until i hear you tell
your fix it
story.
but i've gone mute,
i've gone mute
and theres no turning back
now.


ox.